Posted by Cory Fossum on April 28, 2009 at 03:42 PM in Retention | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I found this article in Direct Magazine and thought it worthy to note:
It tells how a FamilyFun mailing drew a 4.4% response -- its best in years -- by using low-key copy.
Old copy: "Dear Friend: It's the most fabulous guide for families published in a generation. And that's because it's filled with all the good things that make parenting such a joy." And then it ended with "HURRY. We only print so many issues -- and they go quickly! Please don't delay. Mail your $1 an issue certificate today."
The new copy was only two pages and took a more low-key approach. The headline was printed in smaller type and said: "Welcome to FamilyFun, the magazine families go to for great ideas."
New copy: "Dear Parent: Childhood flies by so fast! As parents, we want those amazing years with our children to be full of laughter and lasting memories."
There's a picture of the author and creative director with her son, and the letter ends with: "With this great offer, there's no risk and no reason not to get in on the fun! So please mail the enclosed postage-paid card today and start your FamilyFun."
Do you see why this worked?
First off, the new copy doesn't hit the reader over the head with the offer. There's no hype or false scarcity (of course you only print so many issues...). Instead, it is friendly and warm and speaks to the reader as a peer, not a salespitch.
Second, it continues the conversation that's already going on in the reader's mind. The fact that childhood flies by so fast is a constant thought for parents. So right away, the letter is relating to its target market.
Third, there's a huge difference between "Dear Friend" and "Dear Parent." The latter qualifies the reader, while the former is awfully assuming, especially when the author probably has no idea who you are and is hardly a friend. When you address the reader in your salutation, don't make any assumptions.
I'm a big fan of low-key copy. When written well, I think it is much more powerful that hypey, over-the-top, exclamation-point-laden copy. It feels more honest and direct. Which is why I'm not surprised by the results that FamilyFun achieved.
Posted by Cory Fossum on January 03, 2008 at 12:03 PM in Retention | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
I just ordered a copy of my friend Cory Cullinan's new CD "The Ballad of Phinneus McBoof" from an online independent music store called CDBaby.com.
It could have been a standard-fare process. Press the order button, go to a thank you page, and then receive a receipt by email with a line-item accounting of the purchase and a quick "thank you for your business, please come again" message.
And in many ways, it was. But it was also something so much more: an exercise in "Warm and Fuzzy Marketing."
CDBaby is a really simple-looking site. No bells or whistles. No huge branding platform -- except for a cute logo with a crying baby. It's just a really organized and straight-forward way to find the independent music you're looking for.
However, from the first time you order with them, you will quickly discover that there is indeed a brand. And not just that, but it is friendly, endearing, and just edgy enough to feel cool, without overdoing it. It makes you want to come back for more.
But how do they achieve this without splashy graphics and/or a cutting-edge Flash-based website and/or an insanely cool but totally complex user-interface?
Simple. They use great copy.
Here's the email I received to confirm my order:
- - - - - - - - -
Cory -
Thanks for your order with CD Baby!
This is just a happy automated email to let you know a real person will email you as soon as your package is sent, and you will also receive a paper receipt with your order in the mail.
Please save this email in case you have any questions about your order.
** NOTE: if any of the info below looks wrong, please hit REPLY now to let us know!
Or you can always call us at: +1-503-595-3000 (California time)
THANK YOU!
--
CD Baby: sales and distribution for the best independent musicians
5925 NE 80, Portland, OR 97218-2891 USA phone: +1-503-595-3000
cdbaby@cdbaby.com / http://cdbaby.com <-- new music added every day!
- - - - - - - -
It has everything I need to know about my order, which is great. But it also has something most receipts don't: a voice.
A day later, I received this message:
- - - - - - - - -
Cory -
Thanks for your order with CD Baby!
Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.
A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure it was in the best possible condition before mailing.
Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.
We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved "Bon Voyage!" to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, Friday, October 5th.
I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did. Your picture is on our wall as "Customer of the Year." We're all exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sigh...
--
Derek Sivers, president, CD Baby
the little store with the best new independent music
http://cdbaby.com cdbaby@cdbaby.com (503)595-3000
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
All it needed to say was that my order has been shipped. But they took it a step further and decided to make a bigger impact on their new customer by using clever and charming copy. I smiled and even chuckled a little. I felt great about my order. I explored their site some more, which I wouldn't have done otherwise.
And then I wrote about it in my blog.
If your copy isn't having this kind of an effect on your customers, you need to re-evaluate what it says and what you are trying to accomplish. A few sentences in an email is all it took for CDBaby.com to grab my attention and turn me into a repeat customer. It's all part of the experience of doing business with you, which will lead to more business if it's a good experience.
Make your customers feel something positive about doing business with you, and they will return the favor in kind.
And also pay attention to when I received this warm and fuzzy messaging -- after I placed the order. Remember, your job as a marketer is not over once you make the sale. In fact, it's only beginning.
Posted by Cory Fossum on October 08, 2007 at 01:00 PM in Internet Marketing, Marketing snafus, Retention, Web content, Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)
By now, the novelty of the Internet has worn off for most of us. We've seen all the bells. We've played with all the whistles.
Sure, they were a lot of fun back in their time. But that was so 1997. Today, we just want to find the information we're looking for and get on with our day.
Which means that if your web site is going to be successful, it needs to grab and seduce visitors right away. Then it needs to keep them there by promising to solve a pressing problem. Only then can you convert them into paying customers.
It seems so common sense when it's spelled out like that, doesn't it?
But I think you'll agree that many web sites miss the mark altogether. And one of the major causes of this is ineffective copy.
Let me be direct here. There is simply nothing more important to your web site than powerful, seductive copy. Without it, it's like operating a retail store without salespeople. Or even worse, hiring incompetent salespeople.
Your store might look nice. And a few people might walk through the door. But they'll leave long before they buy anything. The mall is full of quick alternatives. And so is the Internet.
So what steps can you take to make your web site copy more seductive? There are a ton. But let's start with 5 of the big ones right now.
Apply these to your web copy and and you'll start seeing better results right away.
1. Keep it conversational.
Visitors will stay on your site much longer if they feel like you're talking right to them. They are looking for a connection; some sort of proof that there is a living, breathing person behind all that copy.
So keep your tone light and conversational, even if you are talking about complex business solutions. Keep your paragraphs short. And your sentences shorter. You want your visitors to feel like you are speaking to them one-on- one.
Remember, effective copy is just salesmanship in print. A boring, stiff, and overly technical salesperson will lose your attention in an instant. But friendly, informed, and conversational salespeople know how to keep you engaged through the entire selling process -- and beyond.
2. Take them by the hand.
Your copy needs to act as a tour guide to every visitor who shows up on your site. Don't wait for them to guess what to do next. Because chances are they won't. Instead, hold them by the hand and tell them exactly what actions you want them to to take.
Do you want them to place an order? Are you expecting them to opt-in to a newsletter or other retention program? Do you want them to go to a different page for more information? Make sure they know how and where to do all of this. And then, point blank, ask them to do it.
3. Get to the point.
With only a few seconds to capture your readers' interest, you need to get to your point right away. So don't dilly- dally around with long introductory paragraphs. Save those for later.
Instead, explain what your product or service is and how it will benefit your readers from the get-go. Use an eye- catching headline and lead paragraph that grabs your reader by the collar and doesn't let go. Once you have their attention, you can spend as much time as you want selling to them.
4. Use bullets.
. They're easy to read.
. They break apart long blocks of text.
. They highlight important information.
. They're perfect for displaying lists.
. They help to keep things simple.
5. Minimize the hyperbole.
Just like you shouldn't have to explain a funny joke, you shouldn't have to rely on hyperbole to sell your product. That's because people tend to view hyperbole and exaggeration as a warning sign-in a used-car dealer sort of way-and you run the risk of minimizing your credibility.
Yes, you need to be excited about your product. And yes, that needs to come across in your copy. But you can convey all the excitement and enthusiasm you need without frequently resorting to overstatement.
How? Just refer to the first tip and write in a friendly and engaging style that makes your readers trust you and your business.
So how are you seducing your visitors?
Posted by Cory Fossum on September 13, 2007 at 01:43 PM in Retention, Seduction, Web content | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)
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